In It, But Not Of It

Every once in a while I get this feeling that comes over me where I feel like I just want to quit trying to live my ideal.  I start thinking about how much love is in my heart and how difficult it has been for me to find an expression that translates universally and it hurts.  I’m not afraid to admit this because I feel like if more people open up to the love that they are denying in themselves or refuse to see in others, we can speed up a lot of healing in this world.  I’m not trying to be critical.  I’m just putting my heart out there so that if anyone else feels like this they may feel a little freer to say so.  I know what it feels like to put your heart out there and have it come back damaged and stamped “Return to Sender”.  But I also know that if we let those situations force us to give up then we are robbing the world of the gift of our true presence, so despite wanting to quit sometimes, I keep going.

For me it helps that I believe that Jesus also knew what it felt like to want to quit, but didn’t.  Does that sound surprising to you?  I know a lot of people do not think of Him in that way, but I believe that He knows exactly what it feels like to give His heart to people only to have them totally misinterpret Him.  I believe that he knows what its like to want to quit and I believe he knows what its like to want to take the easy way out.  But He still kept giving His Truth because He never gave up on the Truth of Love.  Some of us want to look at Him as a superhero that doesn’t feel anything and laughs in the face of danger, but that kind of Jesus can’t help me.  In my heart He was someone who mastered being in the world, but not of the world.  And through His triumph, we are able to aspire to the same and receive His help when we fall.

As Paul wrote in the letter to the Hebrews 4:15,16, “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

I find comfort and strength in this.  Now I know that not everyone is convinced of Jesus or his availability to us in this time.  I also know that for others even saying Jesus is offensive because of painful church memories or the things people have done in His name.  Regardless, according to my beliefs, because One allowed Love to reign in the Kingdom of His Soul all of us can.  I further believe that whether we know His story or not, we can benefit from His work if we truly live by Love.  I believe that Christ is everywhere that Love is and that we can only know that Love if we give it to others and like Him not allow past hurts to keep us from continuing to strive toward giving from our True hearts.  In order to do this in this world, we have to not be of it.  That means giving better than we’ve been given, shining our light in times of darkness, and loving others as we LOVE OURSELVES!  So love yourself.  Because you won’t give anyone what you can’t give to yourself.

In It, Not Of It
I’ve been holding on to heaven
Since my day of birth
So I’ve always been a stranger
When it came to planet Earth
I came here priceless
They tried to change my worth
I ain’t nothin’ but blessed
But they claimed I’m cursed
When I sing my own song
They try to shame the verse
“Just do what we say”
“Or choose from chains or hearse”
It’s like a battlefield
Man it can’t get worse
Than to be in forward gear
But going in reverse
If they can’t get your mind
They try to jack your purse
If you raise up your fist
They say, “You’re Black, you’re worse.”
If you’re real, they say you’re fake
Because you’re not rehearsed
If you’re White and hanging tight
They say “You must disperse”
‘Cause they don’t know the real deal
Man, it’s the last who’s first
‘Cause the Truth is All One
In His Universe
And there’s no death or sickness
When God’s the Nurse
And that’s exactly why I praise Him
In “The Roofless Church”

Copyright ©2010 Pedro S. Silva II