A number of year’s ago, I had a book proposal rejected by a publisher. The book was based on the opening verses of Hebrews 11.
11 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 2 For by it the elders obtained a good testimony. 3 By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.
The premise behind the book was the consideration that what we call faith was actually a substance—I mean literally—on some quantum level that we had not yet come to terms with. And being a substance, one could, through the proper expression of faith, move mountains, become well, or, do any other thing that scriptures described as possible through the proper expression of faith in accordance with what one might call the Universal Laws of Creation.
My inspiration for the book came out of my own experience. Ever since I was seven years old, I lived under the burden that I was absolutely responsible for my thoughts and the words that I chose to use. Even though I was not a hundred percent sure how it worked, I was confident that someohow my thoughts and words were a significant factor in my materialized experience. I was so sure of this that I did almost everything I could to use only words that I thought would invite into my life experiences that I actually wanted. And whenever I would have an experience that I did not want, I would attribute it to some misguided thought or action that I had taken that was simply unfolding naturally. My work then was to forgive the experience as quickly as possible so that I could “wipe my slate clean” and recreate better experiences for myself and those I cared for.
My conviction about the words I chose consciously began at seven even though I had already been witnessing some correlation even earlier. Or at least in retrospect it seemed that way. But it was the experience that happened at this time in my life that made me feel some level of responsibility for the world I was witnessing. Here’s what happened.
At that time, mom was dating a man named Chico who was a fence builder. As soon as my mother introduced him to me, we clicked. I don’t know if it was my desire to have a father who was regularly in my life or just the fact that he took to me because he wanted a son just as much. Whatever it was, he loved me and still does. And I love him too. So when he invited me to go to a job with him one Saturday morning to be his helper, I was excited to go.
Chico’s work truck was a very old vehicle. I remember it being a Chevy. But it could have been a Ford. Whatever it was, it stood out. Everyone who knew Chico knew “Old Blue”. It leaned to the side and its dents had dents. But I always felt special in that remnant of times gone by. But I don’t know if anyone else thought it was as special as Chico and I did. In fact some people laughed at it openly. On this particular day, some people took laughing at it a step further.
As we were coming over a bridge, I could see that the neighborhood Chico was building the fence in had to be a white neighborhood. With these huge houses, right on the water and a boat-filled dock within walking distance, I couldn’t believe Chico had gotten hired to work in this neighborhood. Even at seven, I knew to feel out of a place in a neighborhood like this. But Chico was fine with it, so I was too. And then all of a sudden, just as we were coming to the bottom of the bridge before we turned into the neighborhood, some young white guys sped up behind Old Blue aggressively. They then yelled at us saying, “Hey niggers, get that piece of shit out of the way.” And then took off speeding ahead of us.
Even thinking about it now, I feel this tension trying to arise in me. Not because of them calling us niggers or calling Old Blue a piece of shit. But because they aimed those irresponsible words at Chico, the man who to this day calls me his oldest son even after having two biological sons of his own. That was too much. And instantly, any feeling that I felt of not belonging went away and was replaced with a sense that what was out of place was not our presence, but rather the ignorance of those young guys, who I now see as victims of a crappy system, but who at the time, I felt were something I did not yet have the vocabulary to call them. So instead, I gave voice to what I could say. And that was, “They are mean. I hope they crash.”
As soon as I said the words, Chico, a Vietnam veteran who knew battle and saw friends die right in front of him, corrected me saying, “Don’t say that. They don’t know any better.” But I guess from the Universe’s perspective, Karma, or God’s justice, or whatever you want to call it, it was too late because within seconds, they were swerving and crashed over the median, busting their tires and coming to a stop facing the opposite direction to the one they were heading when they passed us. As we passed them in Old Blue, I could see the look of shock on their faces. And I would be a liar if I didn’t admit that the feeling that I was experiencing was one of sweet satisfaction. But Chico was not satisfied. In fact, he looked horrified and soon I would feel it too.
“What did you do? Are you a witch or something? How did you do that?”
Before Chico asked those question, I hadn’t even considered that there was any connection between what I said and what happened. Yes I hoped it with a powerful wave of emotion and yes it so happened to occur seconds later. But they were also driving like a**holes and being some as well. So it was only a “matter of time” right? Well, the answer is that I don’t know. But, as events over the span of my life have taught, there’s more to this Careation than meets the eye.
What I do know is that when we got back to my mom, Chico told her what happened and she had a very similar reaction in that she saw that my thoughts and words had some causative effect on what happened. My mom took it a step further though and got all Biblical on me quoting Job with the words,
You will declare a thing and it will be established for you.Job 22:28
She continued to explain this to me and admonish me to take it seriously until I declared that I got it and would watch what I said or thought as well as the feelings that I energized those words and thoughts with. And thus began my diligent thought watching that has a hold on me even until today.
Now, I will be the first to admit that there was probably a logical explanation for what happened that day. But, after having a certain number of events with “logical explanations” occur, I eventually had to admit that in my experience, “Our word’s matter”. That’s a play on words. What I am saying though is that I have observed that there is some material effect that is directly influenced by our words and thoughts individually and collectively. In so many ways, we are speaking worlds into being.
When I wrote the book proposal, it was because I was hoping that if the book got picked up, I could make it my work to research what that effect is and what laws are in place in God’s Universe that would help us learn how to use this awareness for the benefit of our societies around the globe.
Since that time, I have come across a great many writings or movies that attempt to explain some element of what I was witnessing. But most of them have come off as either an infomercial or some kind of loveless scheme to help people get whatever material thing they want. None of that is what I was trying to create. I just wanted to understand what I was witnessing so that I could share it with others and be a responsible steward of my words.
Instead, without training and guidance, I have too often acted as the word police for the people I care about and a warden over myself. For literally decades, I would try to think of the most positive way to say anything and whenever I had a stray thought arise in my consciousness that was not something that I wanted to experience or contribute to in someone else’s life, I would try to replace the thought with a better thought or pray it away.
Even when I felt myself being too old and supposedly too mature for these clearly superstitious thoughts, the habit of thought watching and correcting was so ingrained that I did it without even trying. That meant that to do otherwise would be a lot of work—work that I put in only to have even more experiences that demonstrated to me that I was on to something. And yet, I still don’t really know what.
When I moved to Colorado this time, I promised myself that I would intentionally learn how this works. My whole arrival into this community was another example of me declaring a thing and then having it established. I won’t go into the story right now. But I will say that when we decided that we wanted to move here without even prospects for jobs, I told God that if I could see the path clearly, I would walk it without hesitation. I did and everything worked out in ways that I could have never planned for.
But still, I don’t know how it works. I see the patterns. I have had enough experiences that I can sense when I or someone I care about is going in a direction that is consistent with or contrary to the direction they profess to want to go in. And in some instances, I can even see consequences well before they arrive. But, I am still not able to explain how I know. It is like trying to explain the concept of hot to someone who has never been burned. Once you’ve had the experience, you can get the sense of how to work with the conditions. But that doesn’t mean you know how to create the conditions or can convince someone of them in such a way that might protect them from the need to experience hot for themselves. That’s where I am. At times it’s frustrating.
That’s exactly why a number of years ago, I told myself that I would stop trying to understand what I was witnessing or trying to explain it to others and would just respond to events as they come. But as I witness the world right now, I really feel like we could all benefit from a little more intentionality. So, I have decided to be a little more vocal about the experiences that I have had that led me to the place of surrender to what I internally reference as “The Ways of Creation”. Furthermore, I have recommitted myself to understanding what the heck is going on.
While I am still somewhat ignorant of the best methodology for exploring this, I can say that my deepest desire is to get a better understanding so that I can more fully live into the two greatest commandments of Love that the Bible attributes to Jesus. As I learn, it is my intent to share this with others.
I am a firm believer that God has gifted us with everything we need to experience an equitable and sustainable world where all beings have the opportunity to discover themselves and be a contribution to the expanded beingness of all others with whom we share this planet. I don’t know why I believe this even when in many instances, it has run contrary to many of my experiences. But, at the end of the day, I am convicted that if God is love and loving, then there must be some way for us humans to get with the program and live compatibly with one another and our Creator. Furthermore, if Jesus really did half the things we attribute to him, I have to consider what he and his followers said about our thoughts and words and how we use them as important information toward living into the fulfillment of his teachings—if that is what one wants to do.
I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”Matthew 16:19
To see a few other posts that demonstrate times when things were declared or mysteriously unfolded, check out these posts:
If you have experiences that you’d like to share, I’d love to hear them.