We are not our struggles. Do you identify with what you’ve been through or with where you desire to be? Remember, identity is a journey. Our struggles are a part of that journey, but they are never the final destination.  Unfortunately, many of us can’t get past the struggles. And that is what we call suffering. To some degree, our suffering comes less from what happens to us than from what we tell ourselves about has happened to us. Most especially when we feel like we have been victimized, it may feel that moving through what we’ve endured is somehow letting the perpetrator off of the hook. Might I suggest that choosing to stay in that painful energy and identifying with the struggle, thereby turning it into suffering, may in fact be taking the baton from the person who hurt you and victimizing yourself. Let yourself off the hook by realizing that who you truly are and who you are becoming is more than the worst thing that has ever happened to you or even the worst thing you’ve ever done.