Hebrews 6:4-6 New King James Version (NKJV)
4 For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted the heavenly gift, and have become partakers of the Holy Spirit, 5 and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, 6 if they fall away, to renew them again to repentance, since they crucify again for themselves the Son of God, and put Him to an open shame.
As you can see from the title of this post, I am confessing myself to be a denier of Christ. Now for some people–especially those who know me–this estimation of myself may seem a little harsh. However, given what I have experienced through my relationship in Christ, I can say that I may be taking it a little easy on myself. Before I go any further, let me say that I AM NOT SUGGESTING THAT OTHER PEOPLE ASSUME THIS STANCE WHEN MEASURING THEMSELVES. If you make that choice, let it be yours.
The reason I have gone so far as to expand on the idea of denying Christ to include, worrying, judging, assuming, looking too far into the future, etc. is because I have the desire to live from a place of total trust in God–Life. I know that if someone like Bill Gates or the King of Facebook told me he had my back, I would not worry about most things in my life. So why shouldn’t I have even greater confidence in the one who I claim to be my Spiritual Master. Jesus taught that people will believe people who make claims in their own name but will not believe Christ who comes in God’s name (John 5:42-44). Believe me, I understand how it is easier to put confidence in who and what we can see. I also know the temptation of looking for the easiest path that will lead us to where we think we want to be. At the same time, I have had too many experiences where I discovered that where I thought I wanted to be was not right for me at all. And when I reflect, I always remember that there was a quiet unassuming Presence guiding me in a more harmonious way than what I could’ve conceived if I were alone. Ideally, I want to listen to the “voice/inner knowing” of that Presence in all that I do. I can’t do that if I am worrying about outcomes or listening to stories that I make up in my head about what things mean. The fact is that I do not know what anything really means or what it is for. All I have that I can truly say is certain to me is that I am loved wholly and absolutely by God, in God, and through God. I received this testimony via Christ and I know it is true. So for me, if I live my life as if I am less than wholly loved and taken care of and do not share that promise, then I am denying Christ.
As I said in the video, I do not feel guilty for this tendency because I do not believe God calls us to guilt. That may be a useful tool for some people, but I see it a debilitating. I believe that God is solely using Creation to bring us into the consciousness of who we are in Reality. I see Jesus as One who chose God’s reality above all else. Having experienced how distracting this world can be, I am certain he is not trying to guilt trip us (Hebrews 4:13-15). I think Christ is a wake up call to the joy that is available to those who receive the Love they were conceived in. I can’t get into it any more right now. Just know that you are loved and from where I stand, that Love is Universal. So let’s work on not denying that in ourselves. Christ is calling us to Oneness, so in my opinion, to deny the light in ourselves or others is denying it him as well.