Using Words to Listen to Silence

I’m currently reading this book, Ki-Asana Zen, written by my uncle, Vernon Kitabu Turner. Reading it, I am reminded how blessed I am for having mentors and that God is always looking out for me on my journey—mind, body, and soul.

On my spiritual journey, I have never pursued anyone or anything apart from the knowledge of Christ. When I was very young (4), I was very angry with God for removing my father and taking my grandfather and leaving me with just my mother and grandmother as well as my little brother, who was very sickly and in and out of hospitals. But, amazingly, if not ironically, out of that anger developed a deep intimacy with my Creator.

I was often alone and learned to read early. So, that’s what I did. More than anything I read the Bible and asked my grandmother questions when she got home. The answers were rarely to my satisfaction. I know now that this is because they were largely canned church answers and superstitions. But, they were born out of her own sincerity to know the ways and means of our Creator. So we had that in common. Hence, it was out of my sincerity that frustration arose. It seemed everyone talked about God. But, very few desired to know and be known by God to the degree that my young Mind did. There was almost a desperation to it. I can say now that it came out of my longing for my dad and grandad and that I was chasing God for answers to why I was seemingly fatherless.

At age 6, my anger peaked and I demanded God give me an explanation. I poured out everything that I wanted to know and all of my frustrations. And at the end of my tirade, there was a Silence that answered all of my questions. From what I have read so for, my uncle has accomplished the feat of using words to reintroduce us to that Silence—which through meditation you can come to know as the Cradle of Life (These are my words, not his. Unless I get further into the book and find that he also describes it that way.) That’s why I highly recommend this book to anyone who knows there is more to this life than what they’ve been taught by culture, conditions, and traditions such as religion.

I could describe my faith in ways similar to what Paul wrote to the Corinthians church,

“When I came to you, brothers [and sisters], I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling.”

There is a profound mystery to these words that contains the very fullness of the many paradoxes that make up the human experiences. And my only enduring goal in life as been to participate consciously in that mystery holding on to nothing that tries to lure me into forgetting that I am known by my Creator and can know myself as I am known. That is a gift that Christianity pointed me to. It is my Way back to the Silence.

But, I say this knowing that the Silence speaks to each of us in the Way that we can listen, whether that is through religion or no religion. Just as a map is not the location but can help you set reasonable expectations for your journey, so are our religions. Life is for the journey not for studying the map and reverting the mapmakers to the point that you don’t step into the works and find out for yourself. As I experience it, this book is written from the point of view of someone who has taken the journey on their own and met others along the Way and come to respect them and their map that led them from where they came from to the place in the Center.

The book clearly isn’t written to prove what he knows from experience, but rather to encourage the readers to have their own experiences. Fluidly and respectfully he has weaved teachings of what we call the East and the West demonstrating that Bridging between them successfully requires connecting with an awareness that both accepts and transcends these concepts.

Reading this book is the perfect Way for me usher in 2024 as I’m recommitting this year and the rest of my life to living from my creative center. I showed myself to be disheartened by much of what I’ve seen going on in our societies. Being justice oriented, I’ve tried to figure out what needed to change and how I could be a part of it in a way that impacted society. I’m remembering that I can’t change anyone or anything. But, I can change myself and how I show up in the world. So to borrow from Gandhi, I’m rededicating myself to being the bridge I want to see in the world. I’m looking forward to seeing who I meet on the journey.